Jimbo Meets an Evil Taxi Driver

as all my blogs go, you will understand the title if and only if you read till the very end :)

lets start from the beginning. on wednesday afternoon, we decided that we wanted to go to koh samui (an island in the south of thailand) for the weekend, so as soon as class finished, we booked it to kao san road and went to a few different "travel agencies" to see how much it was going to cost to get there. we ended up going back to the first place we went to and booked 8 tickets to koh samui for 450 baht each...about $14.00 per person, including a "VIP A/C bus, and ferry ticket" we were very pleased with ourselves and the cheap ticket, not knowing how bad a 12 hour bus ride really is...even if it is on a so called "VIP" bus.

Andy and I on the
"VIP" Bus...it's so funny how the call it "VIP"

the bus was scheduled to leave bangkok at 6:00 pm on thursday afternoon, so we packed our backpacks (and, my $6 Jack Wolfskin backpack survived its' first trip) and rushed to kao san road so that we wouldn't miss our bus. we picked up our fav pad thai on the way because we thought they might not feed us the entire time...we should have know better...there is ALWAYS food everywhere and anywhere in thailand! then, of course, another thing we should have know better was that even VIP buses leave on "thai time" so our bus didn't leave until 7:15. we took our sweet time boarding the bus (yet another lesson we learned the hard way), and abby thought she got SUPER good seats because it was right above the stairwell so no one was behind her, hence, she would be able to recline her seat as much as she wanted without disturbing other people. what she didn't know when getting those superb seats was that they were also right above the malfunctioning bathroom and right below the AC vent. needless to say, she did not sleep much on the overnight bus. it was freezing cold, the windows were all covered in condensation because it is so hot in thailand, even at night time, and lucky for me, i didn't smell the bathroom, but abby and david, and basically everyone else on the bus was borderline throwing up from the gross smell. also, the bus driver must have liked mark whalberg movies, because he played two of them right in a row, and REALLY loud. they must think that since us foreigners are so loud and obnoxious that we like to listen to movies extremely loudly too. oh well, i can't blame them.

at the first rest stop, we all got off the bus, ate at an overpriced tourist stop and deliriously climbed back onto the bus from hell. however, it wasn't so bad for the second half of the ride because abby got the bus driver to spray almost a whole bottle of lysol (or something of that nature) in the bathroom, on the stairs, on the walls surrounding the bathroom, then she proceeded to beg for the bus driver to let her hold the bottle for the rest of the trip. he wouldn't let her. abby was sad. :( lol.

at around 6am, we got dropped off at some random place in the middle of nowhere (we all came to the concensus that if a thai transportation person wanted to take us all somewhere and kidnap us, they could because we never know where we are going, just get onto a million different buses, vans, tuk tuks, etc, and miraculously end up where we are supposed to end up...again, VERY inefficient!), and then had to wait for another van to take us to the ferry dock. we were all grouchy faces and sat around waiting for our van to come, and when it finally did, we got herded like livestock into a tuk-tuk much to small for the number of people there were, and went to a ferry stop. it was here that Jimbo (james) began one of the worst trips of his life (well, at least i think it was probably one of the worst, and if it were me, i would probably be back in LA right now, hehehe...kidding). when he opened his bag to get money out to buy food, he realized that he had been robbed 10,000 baht by the first bus that was loooong gone. i told him i'd lend him money for the trip, and he got over his loss fairly quickly by telling himself that whoever stole his money kid's would get cancer. yes, that is exactly what he said. then, we had to get on another bus because the ferry dock we were at was under construction. so we boarded another bus, drove for over an hour to the next ferry dock and got onto a "fast" ferry to koh samui. we got to the island and it was gorgeous. we found the "chavin condotel" easily by telling the taxi driver that it was across the street from pizza hut, which seems to be a landmark on koh samui's chaweng beach. we checked in and were extremely happy to find that our rooms each had a bathroom with a flushing western toilet and hot water. what more could a girl ask for???? we spent the rest of the day at the beach, ate dinner on the beach, and then slept early because we wanted to explore a new side of the island the next day. plus, i was almost comatose from the dramamine i took to prevent sea sickness...so sleeping was on the top of my list of things to do that night.

day two: we woke up at 830, ate breakfast at kao san bakery, struggled to get taxis to take us to the north side of the island, then spent the whole day (until mid-afternoon) at the beach. they had jet skis, kayaks, massages, waxing, hair braiding, everything you could imagine, on one beach. it was pretty funny. jimbo bought so much crap from vendors on the beach, including a sheet set and a tiger's tooth. at around 15:00 (hehe, i like military time now), it started to pour so we quickly packed up and went back to chaweng to shower and eat. we were sooo starving by the time we all got ready to go eat that we ended up a pizza hut, and i think it might have been the most satisfying meal so far (not the best, but the most satisfying). then marney and i walked around, some people took naps, jimbo and david got drunk, and we all rendezvoused around 8:00 to go out. that night, we went to a lady-boy show and it was fabulous. they lip-sang to a bunch of show tunes, and there were some really pretty ones and then there was one super fat ugly one that was probably 10% lady, 10% unknown, and 80% boy. she was our favorite though. then we went to a famous bar called green mango and danced our little booties off. finally, we checked out at 2ish and all passed out.

<-- The SUPER fat lady-boy...in case you couldn't tell.

now the story gets really good........at about 3:30, we get a call from jimbo "help help! i need help" and of course, we are all passed out and didn't take him seriously because we thought he was just drunk and being dramatic. so we went back to sleep. then, he comes banging on our door and tells us that he got beat up by a taxi driver. apparently, the taxi was coming at him so he jumped on the hood of the car, then the taxi driver got out, punched him in the face, kneed him in the ribs and stomach, and then took all of the money out of his wallet. again, when he told us this, we thought he was kidding. he told us that he was going to check himself into the hospital, and that he had internal bleeding. marney told him to sit down, so he did, then the next thing i know, i woke up to a text message saying that he was in the hospital. it was 9:00 am. i sat up in bed, realized what i just read, and got charity, found a map, found the hospital he was in, and since it was only 1km away, we walked to get him. the nurses said that he wasn't allowed to leave until they checked his blood at noon, but our bus was scheduled to leave at noon, so i went on "mission: break jimbo out of thai hospital". we got to the hospital, found jimbo in room 105, and he was in the bathroom when we got there. when he came out, he was in an over-sized hospital gown, no shoes, crooked glasses, holding himself up with an IV stand. me and charity broke out into laughter. it was not funny, but at the same time, it was hilarious. you had to see him. also, the hospitals are REALLY nice, they have pools and each room has a nice patio overlooking the pool/garden area. we decided that next time we are going to feign an illness and all just crash in a hospital room. so, we were successful in getting the nurses to let jimbo go early, but as soon as he stood up to get ready, he started to throw up. i hid under the pillows. then, i decided it might not be a good idea for him to embark on an 18 hour journey back to bangkok. luckily, there are a million travel agencies, practically as many as there are 7-11's so i was able to get him a plane ticket back to bangkok for later that night. we said our goodbyes and then i left him with his plane ticket, barf bag, backpack, david (another guy that came with us...the only one with a passport who could fly back with him) and in the care of the wonderful thai nurses!

the trip home was better than the one there because we learned all of our lessons the first time. this time, we rode on a huge ferry that the bus and some cars drove onto as well. it was not too bad, and i only got sea sick a itsy bitsy bit. then, when we landed, we got back on the bus, stopped at another random place for a few hours, got on a tuk-tuk, stopped at another place for about 20-30 minutes, then finally we saw our big "VIP bus" pull up to the stop. we all jumped up so that we could get good seats, and the lady at the bus stop kept yelling "NO NO, NOT YET, NOT YET!" but, we knew it was our bus so we sat on the sidewalk and waited for the go-ahead! finally, someone said "ok, you go" and abby ran, or, rather, sprinted to the bus, got us front row seats far away from the bathroom and snagged enough blankets for us all. marney took a picture of the license plate (in case we got robbed again), andy put the bags below, and charity, natalia and i followed abby. it was fabulous. we had a game plan this time, and it worked. the rest of the bus ride was uneventful. thank goodness.

we arrived back in bangkok, all in one piece, alive & well, but sleepy, at 5am. got home, showered, ate and then we all hung out, drank instant coffee and waited painfully to go to class at 9 am. i even studied for a little bit for my quiz!!! we figured it was better to stay awake because if we went to sleep we would probably miss class that we worked so hard to get back in time for. now, time to do laundry, nap, gym, do accounting homework. poop. but fernando comes tomorrow, can't wait!!!!